Nina Godiwalla on How Life Changes After Having a Second Child

In Chapter 5 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "What Challenges Have You Faced Raising Two Young Children While Working Full Time?" Godwalla shares how having a second baby has significantly changed her social life. With the added responsibility at home, working mom Godiwalla and her husband realize that the reality of having a second child is that your social life, from date nights to seeing friends, will get constrained. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen: What challenges have you faced raising two young children while working full time?

Nina Godiwalla: I have to say what happened for us, what fell off the bottom is, where we are challenged is, with the second kid, especially, it cut off our social life a lot, it cut our social life significantly. So we used to have it to where, “Okay, I’ll take it. You go out tonight. I can go out with my friends later,” so we weren’t doing a lot of things together, because it’s usually, when we travel, we’re gone for work, so it doesn’t really justify we’re not gonna take a vacation, and we don’t leave our kids and go on a vacation together, but our time together, after the second child, has been cut significantly, just spending any time together alone, or going out and socializing.

We’re actually both fairly disciplined people, so we just see this as a situation, whereas I know a lot of other friends will say to me like, “Oh, you have to still socialize and do all sorts of things,” and I just, I do—I enjoy being with my kids, and, to me, I see it as, for the next couple of years, it will be this way, and even with my husband, when we’ve had our first kid, we said, “Oh, we’re gonna do a weekly date night,” a month, weeks later, and I thought, “Maybe we’ll do monthly,” we don’t do either.

Maybe it has only been a couple of years now, but it doesn’t bother me that much, and he has more of a kind of a discipline, logical mindset too where we both kind of see it as this is just it is what it is right now, and we’re not gonna, probably not spend a lot of time alone, it’s gonna be the four of us together and just deal with it, and we’re not gonna spend a lot of time with our friends, and when we do spend time with friends, it’s when we have the whole family together, and it’s just this chaotic—it’s they have their two or three other children, we have our two children—our conversation is so broken. You just started to say something, and then someone’s kid is screaming over, so it’s these broken conversations that there was no real in-depth conversation, but at the same time, it is what it is right now.

Erik Michielsen: Is that something where you have to just kind of feel out other couples and their kids and figure out, “Are we all okay in this environment here?”

Nina Godiwalla: I think other parents get it because they can’t have the conversation either. They are really trying. Before I had kids I was one of those unforgiving people where I really felt like, “Can they—?” I still remember it, I have a friend that I could hear her baby crying in the background, and I was thinking, and I’d be in the middle of telling her something, and I thought, “Can she just not leave the kid for a minute or two and let me finish talking or telling my story?” And it’s just interesting, as a parent now, I mean I see things so differently, like if I hear someone’s kid crying, I’m like, “I will talk to you later.” I just I don’t want you to have to try and listen to me and listen to the kid screaming at the same time.

My mindset is so different. Before, I was very harsh on parents, so I had a long way to come, and now I’m just incredibly forgiving. If I see somebody with like a kid on a plane, I try and let them know like a million times that whatever their child does is perfectly fine because I won’t fly with my children. I don’t bring my children on a plane, and everyone always makes fun of me because I fly, I’m flying for business and they’ll say, especially on the East Coast, like, “Do you really have children?” Because I fly here fairly frequently, but none of—and I have a lot of friends here, and they said, “I’ve never seen your children, like this is mysterious that you really have children.” “Oh my God, I don’t fly with my kids.” I mean that’s my—and so it’s that sort of I know what a challenge it is and I don’t even wanna go there. (laughs)

Yoav Gonen on His Experience Adopting an American Name

In Chapter 1 of 19 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, New York City reporter Yoav Gonen answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental to Shaping Who You Are Today?" Gonen shares how moving around as a child - by 25 he had lived in 9 cities - proved challenging with having a foreign name difficult to pronounce. He changes his name during college to something easier to pronounce and later switches back to Yoav and embraces it for its difference. Yoav Gonen is a reporter and City Hall Bureau Chief for the New York Post daily newspaper. Previously he spent nearly six years covering the education beat for the New York Post. 

Michael Margolis on How to See Yourself in a Fast Changing World

In Chapter 1 of 17 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, educator and entrepreneur Michael Margolis answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental in Shaping Who You Are Today?" When he was nine, Margolis and his family moved from Lucerne, Switzerland to West Los Angeles, California. The cultural shift and resulting identity issues of being a stranger in a strange land inspire Margolis into a career helping others understand and tell their story. This becomes more important as culture change hastens from what Alvin Toffler described as "Future Shock" to what Douglas Rushkoff now calls "Present Shock" across education, government, media, and religion. Michael Margolis is founder and president of Get Storied, an education and publishing platform dedicated to teaching the world how to think in narrative. He earned a B.A. in Cultural Anthropology from Tufts University.

Michael Margolis on Learning Work Ethic After Graduating College

In Chapter 4 of 17 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, educator and entrepreneur Michael Margolis answers "Where Did You Learn Your Work Ethic?" Margolis notes he did not develop a hard work ethic until after graduating college, when he knew he had to find work and decided to create jobs and businesses to make an impact. He finds motivation in the process of proving to himself and others his work is meaningful. Margolis notes how he Michael Margolis is founder and president of Get Storied, an education and publishing platform dedicated to teaching the world how to think in narrative. He earned a B.A. in Cultural Anthropology from Tufts University.

Tricia Regan on Childhood Influences on Her Social Impact Film Career

In Chapter 2 of 15 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, filmmaker Tricia Regan answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental to Shaping Who You Are Today?" Regan shares how not feeling understood as a child has drawn her to tell the stories of child subjects in dire situations or who do not quite fit into the world. These lead her to topics that include autism and stuttering and take her around the world to film in Northern Ireland and the United Arab Emirates. Tricia Regan is an Emmy Award-winning filmmaker known for writing, directing and producing documentary films, including the Emmy-winning "Autism: The Musical". She also has worked extensively in non-fiction television for A&E, ABC, FOX, Lifetime, MTV Networks and NBC. Regan earned a bachelors from Binghamton University and masters from New York University. 

Tricia Regan on Learning Values and Work Ethic From Role Model Parents

In Chapter 3 of 15 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, filmmaker Tricia Regan answers "Where Did You Learn Your Work Ethic?" Regan tells the story of learning her work ethic from her mother and father. Her father tells her "There's no job worth doing that's not worth doing well" and instills in her the importance of doing work with integrity. Tricia Regan is an Emmy Award-winning filmmaker known for writing, directing and producing documentary films, including the Emmy-winning "Autism: The Musical". She also has worked extensively in non-fiction television for A&E, ABC, FOX, Lifetime, MTV Networks and NBC. Regan earned a bachelors from Binghamton University and masters from New York University. 

Richard Moross on Turning Anger and Frustration into Motivation

In Chapter 1 of 14 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, Moo.com CEO Richard Moross answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental in Shaping Who You Are Today?" Moross shares how several "knock back moments" in his childhood fueled anger he equates to Incredible Hulk moments. Over time, he learns to channel this anger and frustration into motivation, which he ultimately uses to start a business and become an entrepreneur. Richard Moross is founder and CEO of award-winning online print business Moo.com. He is a member of Young Presidents Organization (YPO) and a board member at Ladbrokes PLC. Before Moo.com, Moross was a strategist at design firm Imagination. He graduated from the University of Sussex.

Doug Jaeger on the Creative Benefits of Playing With Legos

In Chapter 1 of 14 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, creative director and brand marketer Doug Jaeger answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental in Shaping Who You Are Today?" Jaeger shares how playing with Legos shaped his creativity and imagination as a child as well as his relationship with his brother. To Jaeger, building Legos was less about following predefined set instructions and more about imagining something and building it with the blocks. Doug Jaeger is co-founder and creative director at JaegerSloan Inc. where he focuses on brand and experimental marketing for clients such as Squarespace, Samsung and PwC. He is an adjunct professor at New York's School of Visual Arts (SVA) and co-curator of JnrlStr. He graduated from Syracuse University.

Doug Jaeger on Learning Work Ethic From a Role Model Father

In Chapter 2 of 14 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, creative director and brand marketer Doug Jaeger answers "Where Did You Learn Your Work Ethic?" Jaeger learns his work ethic from his father, who focuses on finding ways to improve and grow. This inspires Jaeger to try and improve his own surroundings in and out of work. Doug Jaeger is co-founder and creative director at JaegerSloan Inc. where he focuses on brand and experimental marketing for clients such as Squarespace, Samsung and PwC. He is an adjunct professor at New York's School of Visual Arts (SVA) and co-curator of JnrlStr. He graduated from Syracuse University.

Slava Rubin on Ways Childhood Experiences Shape Your Values

In Chapter 1 of 15 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, Indiegogo CEO Slava Rubin answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental to Shaping Who You Are Today?" Rubin moves from Belarus to the United States very young and learns work ethic and entrepreneurial spirit from his role model parents. After losing his father to cancer, Rubin grows up quickly at home and resulting new school experiences teach him the importance of respecting the differences in other people. Slava Rubin is CEO and co-founder of Indiegogo, the world's largest crowdfunding platform. Indiegogo empowers anyone, anywhere, anytime to raise funds for any idea—creative, cause-related or entrepreneurial. Prior to Indiegogo, Rubin worked as a management consultant. He earned his BSE degree from The Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania.

Transcript: 

Erik Michielsen: What childhood experiences have been most fundamental in shaping who you are today?

Slava Rubin: Yeah, I think what happened when I was a kid is really important in terms of how you grow up. I had great parents, my mom and dad. My mom was a doctor and my dad was an engineer. And they were always very into education, into hard work, and they were entrepreneurs themselves, not in job but the fact that they were willing to take a risk and leave Russia, or Belarus, where we grew up, and right away move when I was 9 months old in ’78 to America. It was cool because I right away got to learn from my parents what it means to work for what you need to accomplish, to not have it handed to you, to really strive to do something better, and I right away had that work ethic and that entrepreneurial spirit, inspired into me.

Then when I was 15, my dad passed away from multiple myeloma, which we’ve talked about before, which had a huge impact, because right away I had to grow up pretty quickly, and with my mom and myself, I had to, I guess, be the two leaders of the household. It’s pretty interesting when I was actually helping to refinance the mortgage when I was 16 years old.  

Those two things really helped me to grow up. Plus just being the only Jew in high school, I think I got to learn about diversity and what it means to how people get treated, so I think that was really helpful in terms of wanting to create a platform for equal opportunity.

Clara Soh on Ways Korean Parents Help You Live the American Dream

In Chapter 1 of 20 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, health economist Clara Soh answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental in Shaping Who You Are Today?" Soh shares how her Korean parents immigrated to the US to attend graduate school, met while studying and then married and started a family. Born in the US, Soh learns how the American education system offers more freedom of choice than what her parents had in Korea and takes full advantage of the opportunity in studies and career. Clara Soh is a health economist and Senior Director of Policy and Research at a pharmaceutical trade organization in Washington, DC. Previously, Soh held senior roles at Kaiser Permanente Center for Health Research (KPCHR) and Health Policy Research Northwest (HPRN). Soh earned her Masters of Public Administration (MPA) in Policy Analysis and Healthcare Public Finance from the NYU Wagner School and a BS in Molecular Biophysics and Biochemistry from Yale University.

James McCormick on How Summer Camp Can Teach Responsibility

In Chapter 2 of 21 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, legal search and consulting firm executive James McCormick answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental in Shaping Who You Are Today?" For McCormick, it was about growing up in a very steady and stable family environment. He shares how going away to Sanborne western boys and girls summer camp in Colorado taught him responsibility while opening his eyes to the world of the mountains and great outdoors. James McCormick is a Partner at Empire Search Partners in New York City. Previously, he practiced law as an employee benefits and executive compensation attorney for Proskauer Rose and Jones Day. He earned a JD at Tulane Law School and a BA in History at the University of Michigan.

James McCormick on Learning Work Ethic From Two Inspirational Grandfathers

In Chapter 3 of 21 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, legal search and consulting firm executive James McCormick answers "Where Did You Learn Your Work Ethic?" McCormick learns his work ethic from both of his grandfathers. The first starts a small business making automotive parts and teaches his grandson the benefits of being engaged in your work. The other teaches James the importance of studying and how concentration in schoolwork can lead to positive attention at home. James McCormick is a Partner at Empire Search Partners in New York City. Previously, he practiced law as an employee benefits and executive compensation attorney for Proskauer Rose and Jones Day. He earned a JD at Tulane Law School and a BA in History at the University of Michigan. 

James McCormick on Lessons Learned in Year 3 of Parenthood

In Chapter 5 of 21 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, legal search and consulting firm executive James McCormick answers "How is Your Parenting Approach Evolving as Your Child Transitions from Infant to Toddler?" McCormick shares how his very active two-year old son Jack teaches him the importance of playing good defense at home and out and about. He finds that no matter how much he reads on being a good parent and raising a two-year old, it ultimately comes down to what he and his wife decide is best for their son Jack. James McCormick is a Partner at Empire Search Partners in New York City. Previously, he practiced law as an employee benefits and executive compensation attorney for Proskauer Rose and Jones Day. He earned a JD at Tulane Law School and a BA in History at the University of Michigan. 

Leslie Kerner on How Being Part of a Team Can Bring Out Your Best

In Chapter 4 of 21 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, education software company executive Leslie Kerner answers "When Are You At Your Best?" Kerner shares how, personally and professionally, being part of something larger brings out her best. In her personal life, it is being part of a community of relationships. Professionally, she achieves the most when leading or being part of a team. She learns this early on competing on swim teams and playing team sports where you have multiple experience levels working together to achieve a common goal.

Leslie Kerner is Senior Vice President and General Manager for the Professional Services group at Amplify, a software and services company innovating K-12 education. She is responsible for building and managing training, professional development and consulting services for schools. Previously, Kerner worked as a management consultant at Deloitte & Touche. Kerner earned an MBA from the Duke University and a BA from Northwestern University.

Leslie Kerner on How Childhood Experiences Can Shape Your Values

In Chapter 6 of 21 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, education software company executive Leslie Kerner answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental in Shaping Who You Are Today?" Kerner looks back at her childhood and talks about the formative experiences that shaped her values. From swimming at the community pool to unstructured play to spending time with grandparents, Kerner learns the values of managing a busy schedule, making time for family, and having a curiosity for learning.

Leslie Kerner is Senior Vice President and General Manager for the Professional Services group at Amplify, a software and services company innovating K-12 education. She is responsible for building and managing training, professional development and consulting services for schools. Previously, Kerner worked as a management consultant at Deloitte & Touche. Kerner earned an MBA from the Duke University and a BA from Northwestern University.

Matt Curtis on the Benefits of Playing Outdoors as a Child

In Chapter 1 of 18 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, HomeAway government relations director Matt Curtis answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental to Shaping Who You Are Today?" Curtis recalls a childhood where he and his friends were free to roam the neighborhood and play outdoors into the late hours. The constant outdoors experience gives Curtis an early appreciation for nature and for embracing the outdoors. Matt Curtis is the director of government relations at HomeAway Inc. Previously he was communications director for Austin mayors Lee Leffingwell and Will Wynn. He earned his bachelor's degree in radio, television and film from the University of North Texas.

Courtney Spence on How Mourning the Loss of a Loved One Brings Family Closer Together

In Chapter 1 of 20 of her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, social entrepreneur Courtney Spence answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental to Shaping Who You Are Today?" Spence remembers her grandparents on her mother's side of the family. As a 10 year old, Spence recalls the importance of family coming together in a year where both her maternal grandparents passed away.

Social entrepreneur and storyteller Courtney Spence founded 501c3 nonprofit Students of the World (SOW) to shine a light on progress and celebrate the world's problem solvers. She is building a movement of next-generation storytellers and creative activists through the SOW program The Creative Activist Network. Spence is a graduate of Duke University.

Transcript:

Erik Michielsen: What childhood experiences have been most fundamental to shaping who you are today?

Courtney Spence: I was very close with my sets of grandparents. On my mother’s side, it’s a big Lebanese family, so it’s lots of food, and lots of family, and lots of cousins, fifth removed but if there’s still a cousin. And I think that—so, for me, it was holidays, and good times, and hard times, the family always came together. And you realize that, you know, whenever anything great was achieved, or anything, you know, the passing of a grandparent, anything that was hard to get through, it was really about the family coming together and the community supporting each other. And, you know, I was just talking to my mother about this last night.

We were talking about her parents when they passed, and when we were going through the last year with them where we had to have in-home, you know, nurses, 24/7, and these women came into our home and they were like angels. And, you know, I was 10, but I have very vivid memory of that year. It was the year that I lost both my grandparents on my mother’s side. And although it was a difficult year, I have so many warm memories and so many memories of my family coming together. And I think that as I’m older and as I’m looking at my own family now, and I look at my family and work, and anything that I have achieved, it’s only because of the people and the community that surrounds you, and that supports you, and that brings you into their fold. And, you know, I just think that that appreciation of community and family is something that I continue to strengthen, and understand, and appreciate every year. So, that’s what’s on top of my mind right now.