Simon Sinek on Learning a New Way to Write a Book

In Chapter 19 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "As You Have Been Writing the Second Book, How Has it Felt Differently Than the First?" Sinek finds writing his first book "Start With Why" far easier than writing his second, "Leaders Eat Last." He notes how the first came naturally after years developing the concept in hiw work. It just required him writing down the ideas he had been using. The second book, however, required him to develop a new concept from the start and figure it out while he was researching and writing the book. Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. Sinek is the author of two books, "Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Come Together and Others Don't" and "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". He is a public speaker, an adjunct professor at Columbia University and a Brandeis University graduate.

Simon Sinek on Working With a Book Editor to Refine Your Writing

In Chapter 20 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "How are You Learning to Work More Closely With Editors to Refine Your Writing?" Sinek shares how he and his editor built a productive and trusting relationship over the course of writing his second book "Leaders Eat Last." Through trial and error Sinek and his editor learn to collaborate more effectively. He is able to establish his need for help around organizing the intent of the content he is writing rather than the content itself. Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. Sinek is the author of two books, "Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Come Together and Others Don't" and "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". He is a public speaker, an adjunct professor at Columbia University and a Brandeis University graduate.

Simon Sinek on How to Fight Loneliness When Working Alone

In Chapter 21 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "How Do You Fight Loneliness When You Spend Large Spans of Time Working Alone?" Sinek recognizes working alone can be difficult and remedies this first by asking someone to be with him while he works. He finds this "babysitter" helps him focus and get things done. When he is alone, he tries to fight stress by staying connected with friends and making it a point to openly share his feelings. Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. Sinek is the author of two books, "Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Come Together and Others Don't" and "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". He is a public speaker, an adjunct professor at Columbia University and a Brandeis University graduate.

Simon Sinek on Making Emotional Connections With Those You Love

In Chapter 22 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "What Skills Are You Working on Right Now to Get Better at Your Job?" After years building strong communication skills in his work, Sinek turns his attention to improving these same skills in his personal life. From being a better listener to improving emotional engagement, Sinek shares how he is trying to make stronger relationship connections and exercise empathy with those he loves. Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. Sinek is the author of two books, "Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Come Together and Others Don't" and "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". He is a public speaker, an adjunct professor at Columbia University and a Brandeis University graduate.

Simon Sinek on Turning 40 and Remaining a Kid at Heart

In Chapter 23 of 23 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "What is on Your Mind As You Turn 40 This Year?" Sinek shares that going into his 40th year he does not feel his age. Living with youthful exuberance, Sinek embraces a life of curiosity and wonder. He wonders if and how his fortieth birthday will change his approach to life. Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. Sinek is the author of two books, "Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Come Together and Others Don't" and "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action". He is a public speaker, an adjunct professor at Columbia University and a Brandeis University graduate.

Simon Sinek on How Parents Support Career Change Decision

In Chapter 1 of 16 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "Where Has Your Family Been Most Supportive in Your Career Development?"  Sinek talks about his time studying law in London and deciding to drop out of law school for a career in advertising.  He notes that while his parents did much to influence Sinek to stay in school, ultimately they gave him space to make his own decision and, once decided, supported him in that decision.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people.  His goal is to "inspire people to do the things that inspire them" and help others find fulfillment in their work.  Sinek is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action".  He works regularly with the United States Military, United States Congress, and many organizations, agencies and entrepreneurs.  Sinek is an adjunct professor at Columbia University and an adjunct staff member at the think tank RAND Corporation.  Sinek earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen:  Where has your family been most supportive in your career development?

Simon Sinek:  When I graduated college, I went to law school. And after not quite a year of law school, I realized that I didn’t wanna be a lawyer. And so I decided that I was gonna drop out of law school. And I never fought so much with my parents than during this time and to make it even worse, I was living in London, going to law school there, and so they—I didn’t see them everything was over the phone, and I remember my parents tried everything. They played good cop-bad cop. They tried bribing me. They tried saying, we’re your parents and you’re gonna do this. They tried being my friend like, look, just get your law degree, then you can do anything you want. I mean, every strategy that exists, they tried, right? They tried ganging up on me, they tried leaving me alone. I mean, everything. You name it.

And my dad came to—And at the time I wanted to go in to marketing. I wanted to go into—join the ad world, right? And my dad was in England on a business trip, at about the time that I had to re-enroll, and he sits down with me, and says, so? I remember it. We were sitting in our friend’s house, a mutual friend of his, we were sitting in their house in their living room. I remember this scene exactly. And he says to me, so? And I said, I didn’t re-enroll. And the first words out of his mouth were, right, let’s get you into advertising then.

My parents were 100% against me until the decision was made, then after that point they’re 100% supportive and never, ever, ever raised it ever again. They never said, wouldn’t it have been nice or I guess this was—they literally never mentioned it again. And so I have to say, my—I’ve been very lucky in my life which is my parents will give advice, my parents will give strong advice, my parents will try and push and move you know where they would like their children to go but ultimately, once the kids have made the decision they’re 100% supportive. And so I’ve been very lucky.

Simon Sinek on How Family Relationships Change With Age

In Chapter 2 of 16 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "How Are Your Family Relationships Changing as You Get Older?"  Sinek notes how he and his sister now have the adult conversations, including asking each other for advice, that once was reserved for asking their parents.  Sinek also transitions from his parents treating him like a child to a more balanced, grown-up, peer-based relationship built on mutual respect and sharing.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people.  His goal is to "inspire people to do the things that inspire them" and help others find fulfillment in their work.  Sinek is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action".  He works regularly with the United States Military, United States Congress, and many organizations, agencies and entrepreneurs.  Sinek is an adjunct professor at Columbia University and an adjunct staff member at the think tank RAND Corporation.  Sinek earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen:  How are your family relationships changing as you get older?

Simon Sinek:  My sister and I are adults now. And so we have adult conversations, we will ask each other all kinds of advice that we used to ask our parents about, career advice, relationship advice, things that we used to go to our parents, you know, we go to each other now. And also you know on some level, there’s a click when you grow up at home, you’re at home, from you know, zero to 18, and then whether you go to college or go on to do something else. You leave.

And the problem is, is you keep growing up, or at least I can speak for myself, I kept growing up, but my parents knew me from when I left the house at 18, and so they would still treat me very much like the 18-year-old even though I was still growing up. And they would give me some credit as I sort of entered the workforce, you know, but they still treated me like the person they knew very, very well, even though things had changed, I’ve matured in some ways and—less mature in other ways but the point is that for a good chunk of time most of my 20’s I would say they kind of had a little warped vision of who I was because they’re treating me like the thing they knew, right?

And so I think what has happened now is it’s evened out, which is my parents are still my parents, and there’s that wonderful dynamic but we’re peers much more now. And we treat each other as peers, which is nice. It’s an amazing experience when your parents come to you for advice about something that they’re dealing with, or that my dad and I will have a business conversation, it’s just not me asking him for advice, it’s now him asking me for advice, and that’s been sort of incredible to be able to have that kind of dynamic with my parents. Yeah, huge respect, huge mutual respect. And not sort of the traditional sort of parental respect, oh, you’re my parents. But respect for each other for who we are, not just for the role we play.

Simon Sinek on How Growing Up All Over World Shapes Family Values

In Chapter 3 of 16 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental in Shaping Who You Are Today?"  By the age of 10, Sinek had lived on four continents - North America, Europe, Africa, and Asia.  Moving frequently, Simon and his sister do not develop traditional roots and friendships.  Instead, Simon and his family become very close and learn to rely on and support one another.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people.  His goal is to "inspire people to do the things that inspire them" and help others find fulfillment in their work.  Sinek is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action".  He works regularly with the United States Military, United States Congress, and many organizations, agencies and entrepreneurs.  Sinek is an adjunct professor at Columbia University and an adjunct staff member at the think tank RAND Corporation.  Sinek earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen:  How are your family relationships changing as you get older?

Simon Sinek:  My sister and I are adults now. And so we have adult conversations, we will ask each other all kinds of advice that we used to ask our parents about, career advice, relationship advice, things that we used to go to our parents, you know, we go to each other now. And also you know on some level, there’s a click when you grow up at home, you’re at home, from you know, zero to 18, and then whether you go to college or go on to do something else. You leave.

And the problem is, is you keep growing up, or at least I can speak for myself, I kept growing up, but my parents knew me from when I left the house at 18, and so they would still treat me very much like the 18-year-old even though I was still growing up. And they would give me some credit as I sort of entered the workforce, you know, but they still treated me like the person they knew very, very well, even though things had changed, I’ve matured in some ways and—less mature in other ways but the point is that for a good chunk of time most of my 20’s I would say they kind of had a little warped vision of who I was because they’re treating me like the thing they knew, right?

And so I think what has happened now is it’s evened out, which is my parents are still my parents, and there’s that wonderful dynamic but we’re peers much more now. And we treat each other as peers, which is nice. It’s an amazing experience when your parents come to you for advice about something that they’re dealing with, or that my dad and I will have a business conversation, it’s just not me asking him for advice, it’s now him asking me for advice, and that’s been sort of incredible to be able to have that kind of dynamic with my parents. Yeah, huge respect, huge mutual respect. And not sort of the traditional sort of parental respect, oh, you’re my parents. But respect for each other for who we are, not just for the role we play.

Simon Sinek on Why Travel to Distant and Unfamiliar Places

In Chapter 4 of 16 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "What Have You Found Most Rewarding About Traveling to New Places?"  Sinek notes how anytime you go somewhere new, exotic or not, takes you away from your day to day life.  Getting exposed to people who think differently and see the world differently you learn new things.  Sinek finds this keeps his mind open while still making close, personal connections in his travels.  Sinek also points out the single most important leadership quality is curiosity.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people.  His goal is to "inspire people to do the things that inspire them" and help others find fulfillment in their work.  Sinek is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action".  He works regularly with the United States Military, United States Congress, and many organizations, agencies and entrepreneurs.  Sinek is an adjunct professor at Columbia University and an adjunct staff member at the think tank RAND Corporation.  Sinek earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen:  What have you found most rewarding about traveling to new places?

Simon Sinek:  I mean, any time you go somewhere new, it takes you away from your desk, right? And you can’t learn anything when you’re sitting at home seeing the same thing every day. And so, traveling to new places, they don’t have to be exotic places, you can go to, you know, the middle of the country, you know? If you live in New York, that is an exotic place, but—you know, when you’re exposed to the way – to different people who think differently, see the world differently, you know, you learn new things. You find things that you—that have been there plainly obviously before but you never saw them before, right? And so it keeps your mind open, and more importantly, you also find that no matter where you go, you’ll find people that you connect with on a deep personal level. Any culture, any language, you can find close personal connections. And I think that’s—you know, if anybody who’s sort of afraid to venture, it’s the most eye opening thing you could do is to go away. Not to mention the fact that the single most important quality of leadership is curiosity. And so those who are curious about others and curious about the world, it only benefits you in everything else you do.

Simon Sinek on Finding Joy in Serving Others

In Chapter 5 of 16 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "What Do You Enjoy Most About What You Do?"  Sinek finds it magical to give an individual something that impacts his or her life.  To serve and give your time and energy to enliven others gives Sinek that magical feeling and satisfaction in why he does what he does.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people.  His goal is to "inspire people to do the things that inspire them" and help others find fulfillment in their work.  Sinek is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action".  He works regularly with the United States Military, United States Congress, and many organizations, agencies and entrepreneurs.  Sinek is an adjunct professor at Columbia University and an adjunct staff member at the think tank RAND Corporation.  Sinek earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen:  What do you enjoy most about what you do?

Simon Sinek:  There is something magical about being able to give people something that impacts their lives. It’s more powerful than you know throwing a few coins in the cup of someone homeless. It’s when you go and you know build a house for somebody who doesn’t have a home. You know, it’s that kind of thing. It’s being in service to someone. And being able to give your time and give your energy to people and to see them, I mean live, you see them come alive and to—and when people come up to you and—it’s funny, people say the same thing to me because you’ve probably heard this a hundred times they say, and it doesn’t matter because every time I hear it, it is—it’s what fuels me. Yeah. That’s magic.

Simon Sinek on Finding Meaningful Work by Doing What Inspires You

In Chapter 6 of 16 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "What Makes Your Work Meaningful?"  Sinek first starts by doing something specific each day.  For him it is "inspiring others to do what inspires them."  What gives his life meaning is when he is able to fulfill that cause or do the thing that drives and inspires him.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people.  His goal is to "inspire people to do the things that inspire them" and help others find fulfillment in their work.  Sinek is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action".  He works regularly with the United States Military, United States Congress, and many organizations, agencies and entrepreneurs.  Sinek is an adjunct professor at Columbia University and an adjunct staff member at the think tank RAND Corporation.  Sinek earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen:  What makes your work meaningful?

Simon Sinek:  What makes my work meaningful is that I set out to do something specific, in other words, I wake up every single day to inspire people to do what inspires them, right? And I know why I got out of bed in the morning. What gives my life meaning is if I fulfill that cause. Every single one of us has a ‘why.’ Every single one of us has a reason to get out bed. We have something deep, deep inside us that is formed when we’re young, that drives us, that drives everything we do. And if you’re able to put it into words, then it’s actionable, right? And this is the thing that I discovered, this thing called the ‘why’ that can be put into words. And so I know why I wake up every day and so the meaning I get is if I actually do the thing that I know inspires and drives me. I mean that’s what meaning is, right? Is when your life has purpose, and the purpose I have is to inspire and so when I get to do that I’m good.

Simon Sinek on How Reflection Informs Personal Growth

In Chapter 7 of 16 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "What Role Has Reflection Played in Shaping Your Personal Growth?"  Sinek notes the importance of looking internally at his past actions and decisions and evaluating his performance.  Using the example of sales training, Sinek notes how the observer often learns the most.  He applies this to his life to inform his approach to making more optimal future choices and avoiding pitfalls.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people.  His goal is to "inspire people to do the things that inspire them" and help others find fulfillment in their work.  Sinek is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action".  He works regularly with the United States Military, United States Congress, and many organizations, agencies and entrepreneurs.  Sinek is an adjunct professor at Columbia University and an adjunct staff member at the think tank RAND Corporation.  Sinek earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen:  What role has reflection played in shaping your personal growth?

Simon Sinek:  The ability to look at one’s self critically. To say to one’s self, you were good in that situation. You weren’t good in that situation. You could’ve been better in that situation. Not to be overly critical meaning you’re always at fault if something goes badly or not be so filled with hubris that you think everything you did was fine and it’s always the other person, but to be able to sort of separate yourself to look at the situation from a—as if you were the third party evaluating it. You know, when they do sales training those—you know, it’s always three people, one who pretends to be the salesman, one who pretends to be the customer and one who observes. And then they all take turns, you know, and the one who does the learning is the observer. So the question is, can you be your own observer, like can you replay a situation? And so self-reflection has been huge for me and I’ve been huge into it for many, many years. The ability to say, okay, I can take some responsibility for the outcome of that, good or bad. And I can learn to do that again, or can I learn to spot those situations and avoid them in the future?

Simon Sinek on How to Be at Your Best Each Day

In Chapter 8 of 16 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "When Are You at Your Best?"  Sinek reaches his personal best by putting himself in a position of strength, namely surrounding himself with support.  Sinek notes he is able to "stack the deck" by being around people who want him there and who he wants to be around.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people.  His goal is to "inspire people to do the things that inspire them" and help others find fulfillment in their work.  Sinek is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action".  He works regularly with the United States Military, United States Congress, and many organizations, agencies and entrepreneurs.  Sinek is an adjunct professor at Columbia University and an adjunct staff member at the think tank RAND Corporation.  Sinek earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Brandeis University. 

Transcript

Erik Michielsen:  When are you at your best?

Simon Sinek:  I’m at my best when I’m around people who believe what I believe. I know it seems silly but I try very, very hard to sort of stack the deck, you know, to put myself in a position of strength. So for example, you know, somebody asked me just yesterday, have you ever had sort of a bad, you know, engagement. I was thinking to myself, I’m like, not really. But it’s not because I’m some sort of genius or anything like that. It’s because I stack the deck. It’s because I want to be there—I wanna be around people who want me there. In other words, if I’m somebody’s 10th choice, and like, you know, I’ll probably turn it down. Whereas if I’m their first choice, they really want me there, and so I’m more likely to have a good engagement. They’re supportive of me, I’m supportive of them. And so—yeah, I’m at my best when I stack the deck. When I choose to be in an environment where my strengths are there.

Simon Sinek on What It Means to Be a Leader

In Chapter 9 of 16 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "What Does It Mean to Be a Leader in What You Do?"  Sinek notes being a leader means one thing and one thing only: you have followers.  He then shares how leaders create that following by articulating a vision, cause or purpose toward a future that does not yet exist.  He then puts this in perspective of his own leadership, helping his followers work toward waking up inspired to do what they love to do and achieve fulfillment by doing so.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people.  His goal is to "inspire people to do the things that inspire them" and help others find fulfillment in their work.  Sinek is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action".  He works regularly with the United States Military, United States Congress, and many organizations, agencies and entrepreneurs.  Sinek is an adjunct professor at Columbia University and an adjunct staff member at the think tank RAND Corporation.  Sinek earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen:  What does it mean to be a leader in what you do?

Simon Sinek:  To be a leader means one thing and one thing only. It means you have followers. That’s it. You know? It’s not about learning your style of leadership and how to adjust your style to fit the situation at hand, that’s management, right? Leaders only have one thing, they have followers.  A follower is somebody who raises their hand and volunteers to go where you’re going. They raise their hand and volunteer to go in the direction that you’re pointing. And so to lead others, means that you have a clear vision of a world that does not yet exist, a world that could exist, and by articulating that cause, that vision, that purpose, over and over and over again, it inspires people who believe what you believe, who want to see that world built, to join, to go with you, to figure out ways, you know? And so for me in my work, what leadership means, is articulating this world in which the vast majority of us wake up every single day, inspired to go to work, and come home every single day fulfilled by the work that we do. That doesn’t mean we have to like every day, you know, but we can love every day. You don’t like your children every day but you love your children every day, right? And so the more I talk about this world that does not yet exist, because right now the world we live in, the vast majority of people, 90%-plus don’t love what they do, they may like it but they don’t love it. When I talk about this world, it inspires others who believe what I believe and want to see this world built, join up and figure out in their own way how to advance that vision, so it becomes real. My role is to continue to pound the pavement and put that vision out there.

Simon Sinek on What Gets Easier and What Gets Harder

In Chapter 10 of 16 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "What is Getting Easier and What is Getting Harder in Your Life?"  Simon notes it is getting easier to spot things he should avoid and then work around the obstacles while maintaining pursuit toward his end destination or goal.  As his life becomes more public, Sinek notes how it is harder to know who to trust and shares how he is working through this situation in his life.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people.  His goal is to "inspire people to do the things that inspire them" and help others find fulfillment in their work.  Sinek is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action".  He works regularly with the United States Military, United States Congress, and many organizations, agencies and entrepreneurs.  Sinek is an adjunct professor at Columbia University and an adjunct staff member at the think tank RAND Corporation.  Sinek earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen:  What is getting easier and what is getting harder in your life?

Simon Sinek:  It’s getting easier to spot things that I should avoid. So for example, let’s imagine that we’re standing in the corner of a large room, and I give you a simple instruction, I want you to walk in a straight line to the other corner. Off you go. And without telling you, I put a chair in front of you. Well, you just walk around the chair on your way to that destination, right? And even though you just disobeyed my order, which is to walk in a straight line to that side. The point is the destination was more important than the route you took, right? Now if we reset and I give you the same situation, again, where we start in the corner of the room, and I say to you, I want you to walk in a straight line anywhere, you know, somewhere in this room, and you’re gonna look at me you go, well, where do you want me to go? I’m like, I don’t know, you’re smart, pick a direction. And you’ll pick a direction, you’ll walk in straight line. And without telling you I put a quick chair in front of you, quickly put a chair in front of you, and you come to a grinding halt. And I—you’ll turn to me and say, well, how can I—now where do you want me to go? You blocked it. In other words, when you know the destination, it’s very easy to make adjustments, right? And when you don’t know the destination, every obstacle, even though it’s the same obstacle, brings you to a grinding halt, or forces you to just make sudden corrections which, again, there’s no sense of direction. And so the thing that I’ve gotten much better at, is because I have a clear set, a sense of where I’m going, is I find it much easier to go around obstacles as they appear. Where you know a few years ago, they would have stopped me in my tracks.

Erik Michielsen:  What’s getting harder?

Simon Sinek:  What’s getting harder is—and I think this is for everybody as we grow older, it’s knowing who to trust. You know, we meet lots of people, and especially if you have a little bit of success in the world, it’s hard to know who to trust. Because I’ve had instances where people called me their friend, treated me like their friend, you know, they called me on weekends to see how I was doing, you know, and then when it came close—when we, you know, decided to do some work together and we look at a contract, and I made some, you know, we made some comments on the terms that we didn’t like and they went: Clearly we can’t work together.  And I never heard from them again. I was like, wait, I thought you’re my friend. You know? So it makes you cynical unfortunately, a couple of bad experiences makes you a little cynical. The hard part is, you know, you wanna trust everybody, you know? And so it’s—I’m learning. I’m learning that. That, I haven’t figured that one out completely, but I’m learning.

Simon Sinek on How to Make Better Choices and Live More Fully

In Chapter 11 of 16 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "How Are You Learning to Make Better Decisions?"  To Sinek, decision making comes down to using personalized filters that help him achieve outcomes in line with his purpose.  He shares an example from choosing classes in college and how the outcome - good class vs. bad class, engaged learning vs. boredom - helped him start to shape his approach.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people.  His goal is to "inspire people to do the things that inspire them" and help others find fulfillment in their work.  Sinek is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action".  He works regularly with the United States Military, United States Congress, and many organizations, agencies and entrepreneurs.  Sinek is an adjunct professor at Columbia University and an adjunct staff member at the think tank RAND Corporation.  Sinek earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen:  How are you learning to make better decisions?

Simon Sinek:  Decision-making is a process. The question is what filters are you using to make decisions? Are you making decisions based on the financial rewards? Are you making decisions based on how easy the work will be? I remember in college, they would give you this book where they –all the students would rate the classes and they would rate things like how easy the class was and how much they liked the professor. And, you know, the first year, I picked all my classes based on workload, and I picked everything a low workload, you know? And pretty bored, didn’t work very hard, which was fine, but nothing was dynamic, and nothing really excited me, and I, thank goodness, learned that. And so the second year, I picked all my classes by professor rating, regardless of the workload, so every class I had, I had these dynamic amazing incredible human beings passing on their knowledge and you were excited to work hard for them.

And so again, the question is what are the filters we’re using, and so if you’re only chasing the mighty dollar, then you’ll have jobs that’ll pay you a little more than the last but are you enjoying yourself? And I talked to a guy recently who was in a—he’s in bad shape like he really hates his life and he’s really depressed, and he doesn’t know what to do. And so we’re going through all his old jobs, you know, and I said, give me a job that you’ve loved, and he hadn’t, every single job he’s chosen out of college, he picked because of the money, and if something offered him more somewhere else, he took it. You know? Regardless. And the amazing thing is he plateaued because if you’re only chasing the result, if you’re only chasing the thing that makes it easy, right? Then eventually you will get bored, or they’ll get bored of you, right? And you plateau. In other words, chasing the almighty dollar, if that’s your only thing, it eventually flattens out, whereas if you’re chasing the thing that excites you, the human beings to be around, the work that excites you, the stuff that you know, you can get passionate about, the irony is, is you’ll actually make way, way more, right?

Because you’re excited and they appreciate your excitement and they reward your excitement, and you’re better at your work because you wanna work harder and all of that stuff. You don’t have the strain to work harder. So decision-making is simply a matter of filters. And so I’ve made decisions in my life that I would rather be happy than right, I’d rather do good than get rich. And so the decisions I make put me in positions where when I leave any engagement, when I leave any meeting, I feel that I’ve contributed, right? Rare are the times any more where you walk around going, just think of the money, just think of the money, think of the money, because it doesn’t feel nice. And the experience I have I don’t enjoy traveling to them and I don’t enjoy traveling home, where if I have an amazing experience, I’m looking forward to getting there and I’m excited when I leave. So it’s just decision—decision-making is just a matter of what filters you use, and if you’re good about keeping those filters up and clear then make your decision. I don’t judge anybody by how—if they choose to use different filters, these are just the filters I choose to live my life. Not right or wrong, just those are my decisions. That’s my filter.

Simon Sinek on Why Reciprocity Improves Mentor Mentee Relationships

In Chapter 12 of 16 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "At This Moment in Your Life, Where Are You Seeking Advice and Coaching?"  Sinek notes how he is taking an approach to better balance mentor-mentee relationships in his life.  Specifically, he chooses to mentor someone only if it is a reciprocal relationship, i.e. the mentee also plays a mentor role and vice versa.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people.  His goal is to "inspire people to do the things that inspire them" and help others find fulfillment in their work.  Sinek is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action".  He works regularly with the United States Military, United States Congress, and many organizations, agencies and entrepreneurs.  Sinek is an adjunct professor at Columbia University and an adjunct staff member at the think tank RAND Corporation.  Sinek earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen:  At this moment in your life, where are you seeking advice and coaching?

Simon Sinek:  I have a few mentors, people who I love. And I have a very specific sort of definition of a mentor. So, I have a mentor, a remarkable human being, who’s been there for me, he’s been good to me. And look, he’s much older than me, he’s accomplished much more than me, he’s an amazing guy. And I said to him, I love that you’re my mentor. And he replied, and I love that you’re mine. And I realized that this whole mentor-mentee relationship is unbalanced. It creates this sort of strange power down like that I know everything and you are the mentee. And so my new standard is—occasionally, I’ll get a phone call from somebody that says, hey, Simon, will you be my mentor? And my answer is, only if you’ll be mine.

In other words, I will only be someone’s mentor if I want them to be mine. In other words, if there’s something about them that I want to learn, I wanna be around, I could learn, I could be around, you know? Then I will gladly share what I have as well. But I think mentor relationships aren’t mentor-mentee, they should be mentor-mentor. And one should only agree to be someone’s mentor if you want them to be your mentor too. And so the people I get advice from, I’m proud to say that I get to share with them also. And it’s a mutual relationship, of all the people that I would call my mentors, of all the people that I would say I learn a lot from, I know they would all say the same of me, and I’m proud of that.

Simon Sinek on How to Strengthen Your Creative Skills

In Chapter 13 of 16 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, author and public speaker Simon Sinek answers "How is Your Creative Toolbox Changing?"  The more Sinek practices his creative skills, the stronger his toolbox gets.  He focuses on amplifying on his strengths and hiring out his weaknesses to both broaden and sharpen skills.  As a lover of creative people, Sinek looks to try new things such as modern dance choreography and painting to get perspective on creative process.  Simon Sinek teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people.  His goal is to "inspire people to do the things that inspire them" and help others find fulfillment in their work.  Sinek is the author of "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action".  He works regularly with the United States Military, United States Congress, and many organizations, agencies and entrepreneurs.  Sinek is an adjunct professor at Columbia University and an adjunct staff member at the think tank RAND Corporation.  Sinek earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Brandeis University.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen:  How is your creative toolbox changing?

Simon Sinek:  I’m adding to it. Right? I mean, you know, I don’t think I’ve thrown anything away. I may use some things less than I used to. But the more I learn and the more I get to practice more importantly, the more tools I’m adding to that toolbox. What’s also great is some of the tools change size, in other words, there are some tools that I really like and I’m really good with, and so I use those tools because they’re very helpful to me, and there are other tools that I’ve learned that I’m really no good with and so they’re there if I need them, you know, I’ve never understood the idea of working on your weaknesses, you know, we’re always told in our performance reviews, here are your weaknesses and these are the things you need to work on to get to the next level, I’ve never understood that, the whole idea is to work in our strengths, amplify our strengths, and we, you know, hire our weaknesses or—this is the value of a team, right? What’s the point of having a team if you have to be—if you have to improve on your weaknesses?

The whole idea is we have you on our team because you’re really good at this. You know? And we found somebody else who’s really good at this, which you’re really bad at. You guys are a team. This is the value of a team. And so I think in our workplace, our companies do us a great disservice by telling us that we have to fix our weaknesses or improve upon our weaknesses to get to the next level, they should be encouraging us and giving the tool to amplify our strengths to get to the next level, that’s what they want us for, right? Otherwise, here are your strengths and here are your weaknesses, now you’re even. Wouldn’t you wanna be this? You need to be aware of your weaknesses but we need to amplify those strengths.

Erik Michielsen:  What are a couple of examples of like the creative tools that have brought that out?

Simon Sinek:  I’m a lover of creative people. And so any sort of expression of how you see the world in a—with different terminology is fascinating to me. And so even though I myself am a photographer so I have that visual aspect, I’m a huge fan of modern dance and spend a lot of time sort of with dancers and in the dance world and have, you know, tried my hand at choreography just to see, you know? I’m not good. But it—I like the idea of trying it, you know? And so for me it’s about perspective, which is when I—when you hang out with dancers and you sort of learn to dance a little bit or you learn to choreograph a little bit, or you learn to paint a little bit, you know? I’m not a painter but I painted a painting recently, you know? If you—it’s like chaos theory. Everything’s connected, right? It’s like we conveniently divide up our lives, like here’s my personal life, here’s my professional life, I’m—here’s my social life, I’m looking to find balance. It’s just you. And all the same things apply. And so if you’re good here, you can apply what you learn here to there. And so when you learn how things interconnect and people interconnect, and how human relationships work, and presence, I mean you wanna learn about presence? Take a dance class. You learn all about how to present yourself and be forwards. Take an acting class, learn how to, you know, present your speech. People say, Simon, how did you learn this? It’s like—I’m exposed to all of this. So the tools I’ve learned have just mainly been different perspectives on how other people use their creative talents to see the world in it. If I can get little pieces of those, they help me in many, many different ways.